'talks have failed again.'
'what? i thought you said things were under full control this time around'
'only apparently'
SIGH. 'what now'
BIG SIGH. 'what else?'
'god damn... why cant we just settle for something? or forget it altogether?'
'lasting peace or endless uncertainty? its ur choice.'
'never know peace came in so many pieces.'
...

ও পাগল মঅন মন রে, মন কেন এত কথা কয়?

১.
'তোকে কেমন জানি বিধ্বস্ত দেখাচ্ছে। কি হয়েছে?' - দেখা হওয়ার সাথে সাথেই তার প্রশ্ন।
'কই না তো! কিছুই তো হয়নি! ঘুম কম হয়েছে, হয়তো তাই ওরকম দেখাচ্ছে।' ...

দুজন যখন পরে একটু একা হলাম, সে আবার চেপে বসল - 'কি ব্যাপার? কোন খবর আছে নাকি?'
'হুমম....' দির্ঘশ্বাস ফেলে আমি পাল্টা প্রশ্ন করি, 'আল্লাহ অন্তর্যামিত্বটা কেন শুধু তোদেরকেই দিলেন?'

আসলেই কয়েকদিন ধরে আমি অনেক ধরণের চিন্তার মাঝে ঘুরপাক খািচ্ছ। অতীত, বর্তমান, ভবিষ্যত, সব চিন্তায় একসাথে এসে ভীর জমিয়েছে আমার এই ক্ষুদে মাথায়। আচ্ছা মনটা কম্পিউটার প্রোগ্রামের মত ইচ্ছে মতো চালু বা বন্ধ করা যায় না কেন??

এক দিক দিয়ে কাজের প্রচন্ড চাপ। আমার কাজটাও শালার একখান... চিন্তা করাটাই নাকি কাজ! এক সময় ভেবেছিলাম চিন্তুক হিসেবে খারাপ হবোনা, কিন্তু সত্যি সত্যিই চিন্তুক হতে গিয়ে েদখছি, ইটস মাচ ইজিয়ার সেইড দ্যান ডান। চিন্তার এই জগৎটা বিশাল, অথৈ, অন্তহীন। গন্তব্য তো দুরের কথা, ডানে না বাঁয়ে যাবো তা ই ঠাহর করে উঠতে পারছিনা।
নদীর এ কুলটা সবসময়ই কন্টকাকীর্ণ হয়, তাই না?

তার উপর আবার যোগ হল ভবিষ্যতের ঝামেলা। তাও আবার স্বপ্নের সাথে জড়িত, রঙীন স্বপ্ন...
মাঝে মাঝে মনে হয় দুৎ ছাই, গুল্লি মারি সব কিছুরে - কি দরকার উটকো ঝামেলা স্বাধ করে ঘাড়ে চাপানোর?

২.
আমার দুটো সোনার হরিণ ছিল। টুকটুকে সোনালি, দেখতে স্বর্গীয়। কিন্তু ভারি অভিমানি, যত্ন আত্বির একটু অভাব হলেই কষ্ট পেত ভীষণ। যদিও মুখ ফোটে কিছুই বলতনা, িকন্তু দুঃখ ভরা দীঘল কালো চোখ দুটো তো আর লুকানো যায়না।
সময়ের সাথে পাল্লা দিয়ে বাড়তে থাকে আমার হরিণের সংখ্যা - নতুন নতুন সব হরিণ, নানা রঙের, নানা ঢংয়ের। আর ফিকে হয়ে আসে সোনার হরিণের প্রিয়ত্ব।

নতুনের রঙের মোহে আটকে পরা এই আমি টেরও পেলাম না কবে যে সেই পুরোনো প্রিয় সোনার হরিণ দুটো নতুনের মিছিলে ঠিকতে না পেরে একদিন পালিয়েই গেল গহীন জঙ্গলে।
তারও অনেক পরে, নতুনের ধুসর হয়ে আসা রঙ দেখে মোহভঙ্গ হয় আমার, বুঝতে পারি ওল্ড ইজ গোল্ড। অনেক খঁুজাখুঁজির পর অবশেষে আমি জানতে পারলাম পালিয়েছে তারা ভবিষ্যতে, ভবিষ্যতের রঙীন স্বপ্নের কোলে।।

আর তাই আমিও আটকা পরি ভবিষ্যতের ঘুর্ণিপাকে।।

Bangladesh: a call for optimism and team Playing

came across a great article on bangladesh by a great man. its somewhat long, so i will just post the gist.

he calls us to unite and work towards building a better future by working together on things we agree; and respect each others opinion on issues on which we disagree. another important pre-requisite for better tomorrow is according to him: "generation of dedicated, creative and forward looking action team whose love for the country is beyond their personal and group interests."

finally dr abdul bari ends with a list of to dos for us to work upon. these are:

1) Each of us has to create our own personal vision of life, what we want to be and what we want to achieve, for ourselves and for our country. We need to increase our horizon. Sky is the limit!

2) We need to be steely in determination. Imam Kurtubi said long ago, ‘first class brain with second class determination loses out with first class determination and second class brain’.

3) Surely, we need basic amenities in life to live in dignity. But how does one measure it? Greed is in human nature. But it destroys individuals and nations. It appears that the current consternation in capitalistic economy is due to uncontrolled greed. The question all of us should ask ourselves is how much we need in our life before entering into our grave.

4) We must learn how to ‘think outside the box’ and be creative and imaginative. The world is for those who are entrepreneurial and have the courage to take measured risk. Someone recently wrote in an article that as long as America would be able to produce Microsoft and Google it will have its edge over others, even though its economy is faltering now.

5) While politics is a noble profession and good politics is the only route to sustainable success of any country, we must keep away from Bangladesh’s polarised politics which has become toxic with its party politics. National interests must come first. For that to happen we need to broaden our mind and lengthen our sight.

6) We have to come out of the habit of being passive or starting a good initiative only to falter within a short span of time. Stamina and consistency in anything we do are fundamental for our existence, let alone success.

7) We must practise how to work in a team so that we collectively flourish. Nation building is like team playing, there is no room for solo playing with envy dominating each other’s life.

8) We need to learn the art of introspection, self-questioning and self-responsibility. For too long we have pointed our fingers at others. We have to remember that for one finger pointing to others three fingers are pointed inward to ourselves.

let us step on that journey of rising above our self and living for others.

full article

back to books

been doing some reading lately. after a long while. finished two books back to back. wish they were from my studies, that would hv bn of much help. but then, thats why they are study books (meant to take a whole lot longer to finish even parts of it).

a friend suggested i read famed polish journalist late mr. ryszard kapuściński. the first of his books i could get my hands on is titled 'the emperor - downfall of an autocrat'. divided into three chapters, it accounts the majestic pompousness and luxurious lifestyle of late emperor haile selassie of etiopia and his downfall.

found a very well written review of the book here, so i am not going to reinvent the wheel.

while reading the book, i was constantly being surprised at how the emeperors court half a century back closely resembles the court of our own very own emperors here in bangladesh. tweak the facts a little here and there and replace the emperors enormous court with equally enormous prime ministers/chief advisors office, and voila, one could easily pass that off as stories from right here in 21st century bangladesh. be it hasina, khaleda or the latest addition dr. fakhruddin ahmed at the helm, it has always been the same story of bartering our motherland and all that she stand for in exchange of a place in the good book of mr big. i wonder when would we, yes myself included, learn to take the lessons history is desperately trying to teach us?



latest read is GIRLS OF RIYADH. everyone who lives on the internet must hv heard of it when it was first published in arabic in 2005. the english translation was published in 2007 by penguin. dint expect much from it from the beginning, but still wanted to read it, more out of temptation to have an insiders view of womens life in ultra conservative saudi society.

finished it at 3 in the morning, but didnt find it as captivating as that sounds though. in fact, at times i had to force myself to continue reading. nonetheless got at least some of what i had expected. the story is about four girls from the elite (and of course extra rich) saudi society, and how they juggle between the reality of their ultra conservative society and their aspirations in life, which is much influenced by their close interaction with western society (e.g. one of them is half american). the story revolves around these girls little adventures for finding love - such as flirting in shopping centres, dating at friends place or even driving around dressed as a young man.

all in all, i must appreciate the authors courage for writing on a topic such as this, especially considering the fact that it was much more closer to reality than most of the hyped up super duper bestsellers about muslim / islam / women in islam etc (such as brick lane - which i think was a real crap). furthermore i found her style (each chapter was in the form of an email she sends out every friday afternoon) unique and interesting.

next on my to read list is Rachel Corries journal, let me stand alone